Thanks for boarding into this fabulous blog train – My Parenting Mantra.
Some awesome bloggers are driving it for over a month. And we have promised to bring you some enriching contents that will add to your own parenting experience. Hope we have done it more successful. If you are curious to know about our blogger moms driving this blog train, you can read here. Big thanks to an amazing blogger mom Preetjyot Mehra from My Little Muffin for introducing me.
Parenting Is the most toughest yet most enjoyable journey. You should not worry about the destination but you should enjoy the journey as you travel through. Do you know your kids? There were times, when I cared not to know about my son but went on yelling that he should understand me. How poor was my parenting attitude???
When I was a working mom, I used to hear from many, that my son seemed to be hyper active child. Also I have never gone to any place without getting a complaint about him for his naughtiness and over talkative behavior. So I hesitated even for going out with him. Then slowly, I researched and learnt from net about Mindful Parenting.
Many methods, I tried with him and got a mix of hit and fail results. But all are learning only. In the whole period, I never ever compared my son with anybody. Now he’s such a good lovable teen . Very proud momma moment. All these happened because I made a big decision to be a Mindful Stay At Home Mom (MSAHM), some 5 years back.
My Parenting Mantra – Mindful Parenting To Raise My Words And Not My Voice
“Mindful Parenting is being present for your kids at the moment without judgement and distractions. “
Appreciate More, Appreciate Often
Tell Bedtime Stories
Children love to dream. The world of fancy and fantasy is the privilege of their childhood. And stories justify these attempts to nurture their imagination and foster moral values. We had our bedtime story sessions till my son was 12 years. And we used bedtime stories as our bonding time which really helped in improving our mother-son relationship.
I used to spend nearly 10 minutes of distraction free talk with my son when he returns from his school. This makes our understanding much better. Also I could know about his day and emotions clearly through this. It makes easy for me to help him in any of his problems during the day.
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Stop Praising Your Children
Are you shocked??? You are reading it rightly…… Stop Praising Your Children. Praise is a reward for an accomplishment that meets or exceeds the parent’s expectations. Encouragement, however, is a gift for being oneself and trying hard. Encouragement is empowering. While praise is building the image of ego. be mindful in your selection of words while you appreciate your kids.
Our strategy of replacing praise with encouragement
Praise: “I’m so proud of you, Mithu.”
Encouragement: “You deserve this for your hard work.”
Teach By Example
Be the role model. Kids learn from their parents more than they learn from books and school. So be aware of your words and actions. Make happiness as a part of your daily life. Showcase your talents and inner joy in front of them to inspire themselves.
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Maintain A Family Happy Journal
Keeping a Family Happy Journal has many benefits. You can maintain a Family Happy Journal which can include happy moments, comments from your spouse or children, photos, poems, art works and all that adds to your family happiness. It will be of much help when you are not in mood. Turning the pages of your Family Happy Journal may refresh your heart and mind.
Gratitude make our life a celebration. Stop whatever you are doing now. Spend few minutes with your kids before moving onto the next thing. Visualize about one thing, just one thing you’re grateful for today. Ask your curious kid to do it and ask him / her to write what he / she noticed. Kids will begin to uncover more happiness from now for sure.
Enjoy Parenting Happily
Life is not a video game, and you don’t have any choice to restart it, pause it or delete it !!! So you have to accept and live your life as a parent. Then why can’t you live as a happy parent? The key to Parental Happiness lies in keeping yourself happy and powerful always. This will in turn keep your family happy and powerful too.
To explore more on mindfulness, you can enjoy reading my latest series on “7 Everyday Practices For Mindful Moms“. I truly wish you to find some Mindful Me Moments to breathe, to practice gratitude, and to nurture yourself in your busy mommy days.
Hope you enjoyed reading about My Parenting Mantra. I have been truly honored to be a part of this blog train. Don’t forget to read our next Parenting Mantra from our fabulous blogger mom Prisha of Mummasaurus. Also, do comment and let us know your opinions. We are all ears……
30 thoughts on “Mindful Parenting To Raise My Words And Not My Voice – #MyParentingMantra”
Vasantha thanks for this article. I always get a complaint from school regarding my daughter too that she is very talkative. After reading your article I know what I have to do. I am reading all your articles on mindfulness, it is helping me a lot. Thanks again.
That’s so glad to hear from you, Aesha. Sure you will do it, dear !!!
So well said… Raise your words not your voice.. Often we get frustrated when the kiddos don’t listen and tend to raise our decibels… This is a good reminder… Loved your post
Thanks Sabeeka !!!
I loved how well you have described your mindful parenting. It’s ok if a kid is talkative… I mean why should anyone be bothered by it… loved your thought on raising words and not voice.
Thanks much Raj !!!
Lots of things to learn from you my dear 🙂 Raising voice is so common that many of us must be doing.
Thanks Shub !!!
What a happy and wonderful post Vasantha, I loved each and every point mentioned here. Stop praising – I so much agree with you, that’s my mantra too.
Loved the way he put’s his evergy in beautiful drawings – he’s a champ.
Thanks a lot, Dipika !!!
That quote is so meaningful and true! And I loved the idea of a family journal. Interesting indeed!
Thanks Reema !!!
Lovely drawings by Mithu. You are right, Vasantha, praising too much isn’t the right thing to do. Mindful parenting will help in raising a wonderful kid and a peaceful parent.
Thanks much Vinitha !!!
What a beautiful, eye opener of piece of writing Vasantha. Loved all the points. Thank you so much. And that’s incredible that you narrated bed time tales even when Meethu was 12. How lovely is that.
More power to your beautiful family <3
My Latest post:
Thanks much Natasha !!!
It’s a good read, Vasantha!
Thanks dear !!!
OMG Vasantha, its such a healer reading this post. My Toddler has developed hitting habit recently and this is gaining lot of complaints from school and day Care. I was so worried one day that I applied for few days leave to spend time with him and to observe what is causing the issue. Later, I realized that it will not be a better solution. Rather, I should not let anxiety get over myself and patiently make him understand through observation. I am working on it and waiting for the day when I make him understand its not good to hit. Pray for me.
Sure, Upasna. You can do it. Reach me out, if needed !!!
I think those are some very valid points. Though in my case, the storytelling sessions were with grandma. And to be honest, the childhood seems to be a lot of rush and a lot of studies, mingled with a few trips. I don’t remember much else.
Praise is not required beyond a limit, but I feel, looking from the child’s perspective, that it might be good if there’s a balance of praise and encouragement, and very little (if any) of comparison. 🙂 It’s nice to hear that the parents are proud of us, once in a while at least. It kind of feels like encouragement too, then.
Thanks Vinay for your valuable comments !!!
Very well said vasantha, being there without judgement. I appreciate your decision for the better upbringing of your child and also your own peace. I did the same when I knew to choose a career meant that I would have to choose at a different place away from my husband – which was not right for my children or the happiness quotient for the family as a whole. i chose to work from home and have fared really well so far. I feel when you know what you are doing and if you do it mindfully you would surely succeed.
Thanks much Menaka for your encouraging and supportive comments !!!
Lovely post. Most importantly the last point, enjoying parenting happily. Also raise your words not your voice should be our mantra.
Thanks dear Alpana !!!
I love your parenting Mantra Vasantha. How beautifully you have penned it down. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks dear !!!
Such a nice article vasantha mam.. After reading this in which part of parenting I was going wrong.. And where and all I need correct myself and also the kids.. Tnq